Mating in Captivity

Mating in Captivity

Unlocking Erotic Intelligence

Paperback - 2007
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A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

One of the world's most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.

Published: New York : Harper, 2007.
ISBN: 9780060753641
Branch Call Number: 306.87 PER
Characteristics: xxi, 244 pages ;,20 cm.


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Michael Colford Jul 05, 2019

Great insight... good for long-term couples seeking to understand how passion evolves.

Mar 18, 2019

very good book, but why is there only four copies of the book and fifty holds on this item? Isn't that against library rules or something?

Dec 26, 2017

One of the more intellectually stimulating self-help books. Along the lines of Camille Paglia and Laura Kipnis. Summary quote: "The grand illusion of commited love is that we think our partners are ours when in truth, their separateness is unassailable, and their mystery is forever ungraspable"--P. 211.

Jan 24, 2016

great book which also complements "Passionate Marriage," another excellent book to help with the "people growing process."

Jul 13, 2015

This is one of the best "relationship" books I've read because it actually addresses men just a little bit. Chapter 4 talks about how all the yap-yap-yap women insist upon is actually detrimental to the relationship because yap-yap-yap is not really what men do. Women should read this and perhaps develop a little compassion for their less verbal companions. I photocopied chapter 4 so I can give it to my next girlfriend.

Mar 12, 2013

<p>This book challenges the assumption that sexual desire and eroticism inevitably decline in a long-term committed relationship. Perel brings an outsider's perspective to the strange mix of attitudes and behaviours that characterize American (and Canadian) relationships.<p> Her basic premise is that we crave both the security and reliability of loving long-term relationships and the thrill, excitement and heightened eroticism of new relationships. She believes that to sustain the thrill over the long-term, we must refrain from too much intimacy with our partners. We, and our partners, should maintain certain parts of ourselves and our identities that are separate from and unknown to our partners. See them with fresh eyes and remember what excited us about them in the first place.<P> In an easy-to-read yet almost poetic style, Perel lays out her thesis and uses case studies from her practice to illustrate her points in the context of real couples (with names changed, of course). <p>She doesn't exactly offer concrete suggestions for what any one couple can do. If anything, she implies that seeing a therapist is a good idea. But there is enough here to make you think more closely about how you approach sex and how to have both security and excitement in the same relationship.


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