Family trees. -- The lust emperors. -- Six royals sinning. -- Unholy matrimony. -- Mom was a monster, Pop was a weasel. -- Royal family feud. -- Strange reigns. -- When in Rome. -- Papal vice. -- Death be not dignified. -- Appendix I: British monarchs (1066-present). -- Appendix II: French monarchs (1515-1814). -- Appendix III: Russian monarchs (1682-1917). -- Appendix IV: Timeline featuring a chronological index of monarchs in the Treasury and concurrent events in the Western world.